“Pride has zero to do with who I sleep with and everything to do with the fact that I survived you, your friends in school, family members, religious dogma, taught self-hatred, and I am now tough enough to walk down the street in my own skin.”
That quote has been circulating online for years, but I saw it again recently when my friend Dee shared it, and it still hits me right in the gut. That’s it. That’s what Pride means to me and why it still matters.
Being gay in a world that constantly told me I shouldn’t be took work. Coming out took work. Building a life where I could love openly and parent freely and thrive loudly took work. Pride is a celebration of all that work. And a reminder that it’s still not done.
Pride is a celebration, yes, but it’s also a reclamation. A visible, joyful middle finger to the shame and fear so many of us were taught to carry. It’s saying, “I made it through that mess. I’m still here. And I’m not hiding.”
It’s also about visibility. Every time I show up and speak out, it might help some kid who’s quietly struggling with who they are. Maybe they see me and think, “Oh. Maybe I’ll be okay too.” That’s why I’m out. That’s why I’m proud. Pride gives us the chance to show those younger versions of ourselves that it really does get better.
For every queer kid out there who’s hearing they’re “too much” or “not enough” or “wrong” or “going to hell,” Pride shows them something different. It says, “You are not alone.” And that’s life-changing. Sometimes even life-saving.
And just as importantly, Pride is a time to honor the LGBTQ+ leaders, activists and everyday folks who came before us: those who risked their safety, their jobs, their relationships and sometimes their lives to demand the rights I get to enjoy today. Because of them, I can marry the man I love. Because of them, we were able to adopt our kids. Because of them, I live this full and joyful life. There’s still work to be done, like securing nationwide employment protections so people can’t be fired just for being gay, but Pride reminds me that progress is possible.
And no, it doesn’t bother me one bit when corporations slap rainbows on their products in June to try to sell more beer, shaving cream or toothpaste. To me, the more rainbows, the better, because every single one of them is a signal to some young person that there’s space for them in the world. That they’re not alone.
It’s not about rainbows. It’s about resilience. And I’ll keep showing up for that. Every damn year.
So yes, Pride is a party. But it’s also a promise: to keep pushing forward, to make room at the table and to live our truth so loudly that the next generation never doubts theirs.
(Here’s a link to the post at cooperkoch.com)
